The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

You join a health club but don't go.

You begin to outlive enthusiasm.

You decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.

You mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

You're 17 around the neck, 44 around the waist, and 250 around the golf course.

You stop looking forward to your next birthday.

You remember today that yesterday was your wedding anniversary.

You are burning the midnight oil at 9:00 P.M.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just, as long as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun, and fun a lot more work.

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle.